|
Banana Patch Fantasy Productions |
|
THE UNBELOVED, BK VII
|
 |
|
 |
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
UPDATE: Dec 30, 2014
This book of poems is also available on Barnes & Noble as part of a compilation entitled 3 Poetry Books in 1, vol III, in ebook format. Here's the link to my ebooks on Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/ynez-fernandez-reyes?store=allproducts&keyword=ynez+fernandez-reyes If you'd like to listen to the poems, click the link on the left of and above each poem. Recently remastered all the audio
tracks for this book.
p2
INDEX
Front Cover: WATERCOLOR: Venice Beach, L.A. Calif 1 Title Page 2 Index 3 The Unbeloved * 4 The Unbeloved (cont)5 What Does It Mean? 6 What Happened Here!? 7 What Happened Here!? (cont) 8 WATERCOLOR: Crack Alley , Venice Beach L.A., Calif 1994 9 Listen Up! (a rap poem) 11 Where Do I Go From Here? 11 Someone For Me 12 What Kind of World Is This?! 13 Will the Universe...? 14 How Foolishly I Thought 15 How Foolishly I Thought (cont) 16 Author's Biography Back WATERCOLOR: Black Cat of Westminster Alley Cover Venice, Beach, L.A. Calif p3
"THE UNBELOVED"
I came into this world like you... A vagabond. A beggar for my family's love. Innocent and fragrant as morning dew... Believing that mine was the right to be; Suckling hard for a chance to grow, A chance to remove the shadowed past.
One does not know, but one can feel... When love is absent in those we need. A child can tell you who is the friend... And who....seeks only their own revenge! I was a child. I felt and saw. Like a blade of grass, like a thing that crawls. I remember the appalling truth, that I The intruder in all of their lives, Came only to share this light. Came only to help them grow. Came whispering out of their ancient past, Like a mirror, in time to show.... Emotions cross-sectioned from fragmented dreams... Stacked in quarries...for memory reveals.... The lessons unlearned, that must be resolved.
Because of their greed, they couldn't believe, That I was one of them. Because of their pride, they even denied... A little one. I was the one the world despised. They didn't see my tearful eyes. They heard not my mournful cries. Each crushing blow...made me to know... They have no Aloha for me!
p4
"THE UNBELOVED" (cont)
Calling up spirits of loves and times, Bending and weaving, remembering lives... I'm caught between rainbows, riding the ruts. Torn off from the ledge, and you all think I'm nuts! I'm roaring along with the angry stream Appalled that our day has been lived and seen;
For Humanity's decline, is the Earth's relief Eden lost, alone in our grief... We are so weary of this world. It rides relentlessly on our aching backs... Sometimes...we fall...we, the unBeloveds. But love is natural to us all... And I have found, that living...means forgiving.
To go on believing...is what keeps This broken heart, alive....and Beating! Beating! Beating! Knowing someday....everyone must bring Their shattered heart into the air; Replace the dried up flowers there, With buds of fragrant caring....sharing... In the Brotherhood of Man; Accepting all life...as Self.
Knowing the Oneness that restores to perfect health, The impoverished hearth of the mind... With all my heart and love...I'm telling you now.... Each blessed spirit in form expressing Is more beloved of Nature and God Than all your jealousy and hatred! p5
"WHAT DOES IT MEAN....."
What does it mean when you're so kind After the pain and so much time? How can you think that I don't remember How unfairly you tried to devalue my person! With cruelness and mean words unending, Avoiding real intimacy and caring, Laughing at me in my face....Using me like your toilet. And then you try to be my friend...again? What?!
You are like the world. You bought the facade. You learned to smile and accept what is wrong; You never loved me, you just strung me along. I'm a home girl, and a little square. That disappointed you, so you didn't care. You thought a woman was someone to waste An object for you to use as a slave But in the face of, your immoral wantonness....
I regained composure, and you...my beloved, Found insanity with your new lover. She gave you a dose of yourself. Now she died, and you have Aids! Was she so easy to abuse. That you became her victim. If only we could take it back... Do it over...But we can't. It's done. So now, you're contagious, you... The treasured handsome son, Must learn to live on chemical "cocktails".... Without the sweet affection we once shared. You followed the path to the s--tter my dear.... What did you expect to find? p6 "WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!" If the elders can throw away The cermonial robes of virtue,
and Using the Name of my Guardian and Friend, Tear apart the silken fabric of our
shared essence, With blasphemies and careless profanities, Then I can proclaim
my preposterous dream vision Of Non-Violence, Peace, Love and Harmony for Humanity. The elders sit in frocks confusing natural intelligence, Compounding deceit with twisted
subtle perversity. What do their insatiable ambitions prove? Much humanity has been
lost in just one generation? How we rue... the day! and we are left With an unanswerable
riddle...that being: The question may be posed, but if one Has
lost the premice along the way... How meaningful then, is the day How long can humanity
last as baffoons, Mindless, violent creatures, bent on self ruin. But being a baffoon,
is not being funny. If we lose our beautiful earth.... Can we buy another with
all your money....! Where will our soul go? p7 "WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!" (cont) When
I think of all the eons, our elders toiled to earn... The earth, their bones have now upturned, Yet humans today are not at all concerned, With the devestating waste and plunder we have
borne Upon our environment, now broken and torn. Though the sea and land vomit the
awful sight. We don't repent, nor try to make it right. Our Elders of old,
showed devotion with candle and wine They built upon knowledge of stars, land and wind Guided
by invisible loving hands, that eventually civilized, The blessed, but incorrigible, creature Man. Do the trees, who stand in awe worshiping the Sun, Know we
have violated the sacred trusts Ancestors passed, thru milleniums of Knowledge
amassed, and sung, in liturgies. The birds even flee from our schitzophrainia What
happened here?! Where is Man!? Who are these violators of the sacred code? Imposing
their ridiculous logic on us. Do we seek to create ourselves now In our own ill-conceived
image? It's $$$ before man, $$$ before environment and land... Every man for
himself....When did this happen? Where is Man? What happened here? What happened
to the Man God created?!
p9 *In the rap poem below, the asterick represents voices of 3 bullies harassing our rapper (who died that night) "LISTEN UP!" a rap poem What does it mean when you feel like s--t! 'Cuz everywhere you go, they tell you * You ain't it! How do you feel when you know what's up... But everywhere you go they tell you.... * #@!& etc.... (you know what!) * Get back, sit down, don't speak, you're a clown! Don't think, you stink, What a kook, you're a fool! What you see, it can't e! What you feel....it ain't real! And I say: "Excuse me! Are you jivin' me again!" * Why you're so lost, your brain is tossed! You must be mental, we're tryin' tp be gentle. Wake up! This is reality! We're tryin' to help you You don't fit in. Why must you always be so different? What's wrong with you. Did you fall on your head! Put on a smile, just be average. You're too far out to communicate! You're tryin' too hard.Are you fakin'? Anyway, where are you from!? p10
"LISTEN UP!" (cont)
And I reply: "I ain't late! I'm at the Gate! Hurry up now, we just can't wait. Get on the train. Don't miss the boat. Be yourself proudly, you aint no joke! Time is over, but have no fear... Only the merciful and loving here. Be real. Just feel. No jive. Can't hide. Don't push, and don't demand. Open your eyes, we're all in command. So take a seat. All aboard. Chill out Homey, you wont get bored. Take five....You're still alive. So listen up! We have to give it up, 'Cuz Love, (Sweet Love) fills the cup! (And, we're sharing.) Thank you!" p11
Where do I go from here? My life on Earth seems over. The beauty of the years gone by Is fading. Have I lost my purpose?
My life in dreams, so rich and full. The future hidden and unsure. The path I hope to walk ungained. The Self is earned, but in exchange... For innocence...well, that's the game. What would I become, If in this late hour, I succumb, Become the greedy grabber they admire, Look in their faces with a smile... and be their liar...?
Where do I go from here, After believing all those years... In the person I knew I could grow to be. A life somewhere that could exist for me...some day. A place that fit...where my contribution, was significant.
"SOMEONE FOR ME"
Twigs must bend, so birds can nest; A woman's need for love begets Children, family and we learn... To sacrifce, for Love's sake...and We earn, Faith... and realize wholeness. Does God make but half a tree? Love is all we are, all we can do And all we're meant to be... So that means, there is someone for me. p12 What kind of world is this Where who we are we must conceal Lest all be coveted and robbed from us; Lest from our natural state we be .....Forced
to submit?! Why can't we lift, our hearts and minds To a Truth both real and
magnificent? Soon weakness of character enshrouds, The
brilliance of our Being As we become, a rotting thing, Not seeing...what has become
of us. Then in desperation seeking, freedom, From my own self deceiving...I sought
to purge myself, Of this mindlessness, modernity and I created... Passing
thru the Plains...where once Great Native people fought to live...but died! I think,
was it in vain? What Truth was gained... Have humans changed...or stayed the same?! We
have only barely, learned to apply this brain... We can learn, but so lazily we try. Let
us no longer allow, The ancient human mindlessness to stain... What fragment of
our souls, so lost, remains! p13 Will
the Universe ever have a use For this willing soul? Will there ever be, A blessed harbor for me to rest again, A corner for me to open
and unfold? Although the blemished fruit, Is not as sweet as it could be, It has overcome the depleted
soil Of it's conception....and borne It's
rare fruit as a gift... grown With gratitude and with joyfulness adorned. Conscious of it's Self, believing, The
gift of nectar earned would bring, Relief, and put into harmonic balance, The consciousness of living beings. Distorted with reflections..
The apathetic faithless cling, To a path of self
undoing Trying to desuade us to not see. And of those, into whose guardianship One was so thoughtfully
thrown... How else could I have known, Except
through what lessons I was shown? For fools provide the chance for us to see, and Never do we need to be, regretful In our old days, no self
ruin.... For thru their poor example, We realize
Insight, (so pitifully earned)... We see the lessons...and alas!, we learn!
p14
How foolishly I thought, that I could interface, Without respect for those massacrers of Races. Where do I go from here? Cowardice and reticence are out of place now. I can't run from Victory. That time has passed, and I must give up my place; My life has run it's course, The riddle of my Karmic Fate resolved... My life has come to one last test... I must embrace, and prove the grace, Of goodness that was saved...thru Faith... Or I have lived in vain.
What if the Angels loose their patience (They who have kindly guarded me)? And I with every good intention Beg their blessing, ask to prove My true devotion...pleading for salvation... The right to live in Heaven again. Unpretentiously giving up to rightousness, I am making every effort to be true to merciful vision. Do you see me Lord? Do you hear me calling.....
Curiously, I survived the crushing blows, Expanding infantile intelligence...I grew. Seeking knowledge hard to find...I fell upon a path That tuned the intellect to adoring all Creation. Without ego to distemper me, I learned to honor Virtue. I gave in whole heartedly, to that Spirit dwelling in there, deeply.... So that simply starting over, trying again undaunted. Though reviled by those whose love I wanted I have stayed upon this path. p15
I know I'll find my place someday. Somewhere there is a homeland Where I am loved for all that I've accomplished, And for that, which I could not. Where I am welcome for Eternity and part, of that Community Who contributed to my growth from early eons on.
I know that God is real, for as an orphan There were Guides to greet me, keep me... Inspiring me to produce lyrical liturgies, Whilst learning the lessons of Life so painfully. Yes! I believe, some families of Enlightened Beings Rule the orbits of our lives, allowing us time to absorb Their goodness and generousity unending.
So I'll make it back to where my journey started I'll find a way to face in perfect grace That nurturing God that surely loves me, and What great adventures, I then can relate; What lessons were easy, and which were hard. Face to face, We'll laugh together out loud, Forgiven and restored.
How intriquing, the travels of my soul Thru the wilderness of this world so coarse How merciful will it be, to rest my head upon The breast of God again, rejoicing in an eternity Of joyfulness and mirth on Earth
Black
Cat of Westminister Alley |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
