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Harmony awoke slowly before sunrize.
There
were still stars in the sky, with the faint hue of lavander
glowing luminously on the fringes of the horizon.
As
the blackness of the night became the light of dawn,
dreams and memories sifted back into her consciousness.
In
endless patterns, overlapping each other,
the ancient drama of her soul's journey was revealing itself.
She
could hear clearly beyond the shifting visions
as light swallowed the darkness.
She wanted it to make sense.
"Life is not pointless" she thought.
She could hear her voice echoing in the cathedral of her mind.
Who was this person, numb and out of control?
She was seeking refuge, unwilling to be derailed by this
absurd
20th Century reality that soiled everything it touched.
Birds cooed in their nests again.
They too waited for the dawning.
All night the lovers in their tree nests had slept
in sweet embrace.
Maji and Harmony too
within their bamboo dome beside
the lively waterfall, fell asleep embracing,
but as dawn
approached, they had pulled away,
each into their own dreams.
Harmony looked at the man beside her.
Could she
measure up to his love? His incredible beauty rested now.
There was no strain or frustration in
the eyes or lips.
Where did he go? Was he reaching deeply into his essense,
as she was, trying to find the
meaning of his being.
Of his great individual Self.
She looked up through the poles of the bamboo dome
as a flash of light caught the side of her eye.
Long golden fingers of light were reaching the tops of the trees.
The mango grove was old and the trees were very tall,
reaching 60-80 feet or more.
Greeting the dawn, all the
forest birds took flight together.
It was as if the trees exploded with feathers and light.
They flew in diamonds
across the sky in delirious delight,
calling to the Sun to witness their
morning offering of flight.
Harmony's
heart too exploded with wordless ecstasy.
Light...after so many years of darkness.
She forgot that now. She
was remembering her dream.
Her pulse rose with the ebb of morning light.
She sat still in the shadows of the night
within the dome.
The light was beconing her to hillside.
The sound of the waterfall was incessant.
It
bounced from the rocks in every direction.
It's melody was ever changing and she listened
to the joyous overflow
of sounds.
Something was in the air. All of life was stirring.
Scuttling, scurrying, slinking, surveying....
Everything was so alive. She felt so invigorated.
Her heart was beating in her chest.
But she was not ready
to let go of her dream yet,
and felt as though she were free falling back into it.
So she lay back and closed her
eyes. She sighed deeply and
floated comfortably without straining to see or hear.
She was just feeling the
forest. The air was so sweet.
She was perhaps dreaming when she smelled the
familiar odiferous pine of her
village forest.
She was running through the forest when she stopped suddenly.
She saw the ocean before her,
the great brilliant
blue depths, stretching forever to where it joined with the sky
somewhere at the end of the
horizon.
Suddenly she was back in the dome on Maui in the forest
with Maji. Her eyes were out of focus,
so she stepped back
what seemed to be a few feet, but found herself hovering
over the whole island looking
down. Strangely,
she could still see their camp.
Beyond that image, there was another
more ancient
view of Maui.
There were great masses of land then, that now
have collapsed back into the sea.
Then there was
the great city of Oulda,
capitol of the fabled land once called Lemuria.
She was seated upon her flying pegasus
Kuivato observing.
Someone inside of her knew the meaning of this vision.
Harmony did not. But recalling it
made her chuckle.
She could see herself beside Maji,
inside the little dome sleeping,
so well hidden in the
sacred little gourge.
Could all this really be true.
How could she be Jzurlea and Harmony...and Lemurlalo?
Was
it some kind of joke or just insanity.
How could she be so much here now, inside of Harmony,
knowing her thoughts,
discovering life with her, feeling
and loving through her, knowing she was
Jzurlea also, there in the piney forest
of the first plateau. She could feel and hear the intoxicating
beat of the drum, pounding in her mind.
Her thoughts
evaporated into the tribal chants that erased the
restlessness of her mind.
Lali's dear grandmother, Sittingjing-gongala was
sitting by the hearth, shelling
the seeds they used for porridge.
The fire was burning nicely, and the rocks were almost ready
to transfer to the
water in the ceramic pot nearby. Lali
was sitting nearby, grinding the seeds to a fine flour.
Tumbala watched
from the mat near the hearth where see waited
for Gongi to throw her a tidbit. Jzurlea could
still see these
things. It felt like she could
just step back into that life and time and forget that she was
someone she
knew now as Harmony. If only she could find the
little flying machine again. "It must still be
on the beach
somewhere" she thought. "I'll find it today. I really
have to get back to
Grandma".
Being in the jungle helped her remember alot of things. "It seems,
all I have
to do is listen and all the secrets naturally unfold," she
mused. Safely hidden in the depth of the
jungle, she felt like there was
a precious secret about herself she was ready to know. She felt like a
seed
within a stone, within the fruit...undiscovered by the world...
still pure, sweet, uncontaminated. She would be
ready to know soon.
But for now, she drifted in her cacoon spinning her fantasy.
She became aware of herself
again when Maji, still asleep,
turned onto his stomach so she had to shift her position beside him.
She had been
so absorbed in her own drama within, she forgot she
was still in the dome with Maji, and felt as though she'd been
ripped apart. For a moment she struggled with the distraction
from her deep concentration,
but was pleasantly
aroused when she opened her eyes
and saw him laying there beside her. His black curly hair was toussled about
his muscular golden shoulders. He made her body throb.
She longed for him to share her fantasy. To remember,...or
at least
try to believe he really was Hokami. She wanted to believe in Hokami...
that such a being existed;
a being that was the unspoken
part of herself, that which completed the wholeness of her soul.
A lover that would
not abuse or deceive her.
A lover that would protect her virtue and guide her
when she reverted to weakness of character.
A collaboration of inspired friendship.
A union that would be a benefit to all Humanity.
So many relationships
only served to degrade her
in the past. She knew Maji was different.
He was the one with conscience and integrity.
He was the compassionate sage that prove's God's Grace.
Would he ever remember his real Self?
Will he
find the passageway within himself and go through it?
Would they ever go back to the pine tree forest together?
Fruitflies were already busy, and the whole forest was humming
with them. The Overture began slowly.
She listened.
She could feel the love, everywhere. She felt
like she was in a cacoon. She was
looking out and the
world was all crystally and shiny...and safe. She would have to
break through soon though.
The time would come for miracles.
Although she wanted to stay with Maji, time would not stand still.
She realized
that. But she did really want to stay a little longer
within this little warmth they had woven together.
And
although she dreamed of the moment of crysalis,
she could not, or did not know how, to take the giant step
it required
to break through her own illussions.
Maji moved again, and groaned. He was waking up. He reached
over and tickled her. There was something so pleasing about
his touch. He seemed to know when and how to
touch her.
He was sensitive and physic. She ran her palm along the curve
of his spine. She saw
his skin pucker like chicken skin.
She felt the wave too. He turned over and smiled, rubbing
his eyes.
He sighed and sat up and gave her a quiet
tender kiss on the lips before getting up to take a leak.
Quickly he disappeared through the dense foliage.,
leaving her alone.
She lay there in the cool morning,
peacefully moving
through the layers within her that Time had deposited
over millennia. The images were coming
and going freely,
even as the leaves of the trees moved the shafts of light
that were finally reaching the forest
floor.
She could see herself as a child again, and Sittingjing-gongala
was sitting on her great grizzley bearskin,
endlessly plaiting
sheaves of long grass, her nimble fingers seeing now for
her eyes as she told Lali stories of
old. Stories so old that
very few persons alive in the village remembered them.
Slowly Harmony began to be
aware of a sound she was hearing
off in the distance, like many owls hooting, or chanting.
It intriqued her, so
she listened more closely as it
became more audible. Suddenly,
Lali saw the Owl Woman again, and a girl
lay on the ground near her with a bite on her ankle.
The girl was rubbing her leg because it hurt so much.
Then the Owl Woman manifested a beautiful ouva fruit
and approaching the girl, handed it to her. The fruit
was different from any food Lali had ever seen before.
It was red and juicy and deliciously sweet. It looked
and moved
like cherry jello. She could sort of see through the
flesh of the fruit like a frosty window.
Harmony knew she was that girl and that girl was Lali (Jzurlea).
Then she saw the Pyramid. As Lali
was eating the ouva,
the Owl Woman began doing a jig around the pyramid.
As she did this, she changed from her human
form
to a small owl. The owl's claws scratched the ground
as she danced, revealing a golden orb, inscribed
with hyroglyphic images. In the center of the orb,
was the eye, that the hyroglyphs encircled.
Harmony
brushed the excess earth away from the orb
so she could see the exquisite detail better. As she did this
the
orb began to rize on hinges, and the hooting sound was loud,
and no longer muffled. She could see there was a
chamber
beneath the pyramid, and began to peer through the tiny opening.
When her eyes adjusted to the darkness
of the interior,
she realized she was inside now, standing in the vestibule
where long tunnels, branched out
in all directions like hallways,
leading to destinations unfathomable. There was a light shining
eeriely down
a tunnel where the hooting seemed to be
coming from. It revealed compartments along it's length
all hand
hewn from the rock.
Harmony sat up. She was trembling. The tunnel reminded her
of the long scarey
hallway that led to her Grandmother's apartment on
Thompson Street. That's where she mostly lived while
growing up.
That's where her grandma told her the stories of Peaciwawala and
Sittingjing-gongala on those
bitterly cold winter nights.
Harmony shuttered to remember that lousy hallway from childhood.
She ran her hands
over the hand hewn rock wall. It felt like
the textured walls of the hallway, embossed in designs
that could
no longer be distinquished, because of the filth that had
accumulated on their crevices over the years.
One naked light bulb shining high up in the darkness of the domed ceiling,
dimly lit the space below. The
brassy mailboxes glittered in it,
casting their reflection on the stairs that led upwards.
Harmony called thru the
smelly darkness for her Grandmother.
Then the door openned. First with the chain as the grandmother
checked
to see if there were any drunks behind the garbage cans
hidden below the stairs.
Then the door would close, and
reopen. That's when Harmony
would run fast as lightning into the apartment as her grandmother
immediately
closed and bolted the door behind her.
But Sittingjing-gongala and Salanka had said that
it was the snake
venom that made her see the Owl Woman
and the Pyramid of Lost Owls, the tunnels and heard the hooting.
How could
it be hallucinations. It all felt so real!...even now.
Inside her body, her heart was pounding wildly.
She was
scaird to go back there, even in dreams.
She got up feeling somewhat dizzy now and stepped outside
the bamboo dome. She held onto a tree
and breathed as slowly as she could until she regained
her
senses. Remembering the hallway of her childhood
unnerved her. Somehow the two were connected.
What
did it really mean?....
Now she remembered...yes, she was on Maui, camping
in the jungle with Maji.
Her children were in Haiku
with their cousins, and she was free for one whole week,
if she wanted to be. She
remembered now,
what the world was like out there...and what it had become...
It was the time she was born into...not
transmigrated to or
transported from. Maji said she needed to get a grip.
But honestly, she was getting a
grip...a grip on who
she really was. Not who they expected her to be, or
decided she was. She was
remembering herself.
And it wasn't easy facing her snot-nose-kid arrogance.
There was something
she needed to know
inorder to understand herself. She needed to understand
the basis of her personality and
character.
Where did they come from. How did they evolve
to bring her into this time and place.
Something
within was unresolved.
She could no longer go on like that.
She needed to know what she'd done to offend the
Universe.
She had an uneasy feeling but didn't know why.
She remembered her happy little village and yearned
to go
back there, but knew she couldn't yet, for she had somehow
contributed to the maddness that existed in
the world.
Had she come to this time with a special purpose?
She felt like she was actually breaking through.
Deep inside her was a sense of knowing she needed
to unravel and decipher. Her goal was to consciously
know
who she really was, and why she was trapped
in this eternal wheel of circumstances, endlessly revolving
states
of drudgery and misery, of poverty and hopelessness.
How Fate had tricked her. And this strange, deep feeling
of knowing about herself, made her question whether
she had somehow brought it all upon herself.
She had
changed when the Empress showed her the cause
of suffering in the world. Why then was she still bound?!
Was
there more to remember? How deep dare she go
to find the Truth? How sincere the inner longing to know?
Would she even be strong enough to carry the Truth forward
once discovering it?!!! Would it not be better to
just
linger half-forgetting half-remembering? Couldn't she survive
just as well without a conscious?...
as so many do.
Could one escape the responsibility of it that way?
This land they were camping on was a very special place.
She didn't know
why she felt that strongly about it.
There were many spirits still living there...Spirits of the Kanakas.
The
terraced kalo (taro) beds now fallow,
still line the walls of the gourge where it meets the sea.
People lived and
planted food in that little valley.
In winter the river rushes through the gourge,
but the lava rock terraces survive.
The presence of their spirits provoked her need
to inquire of herself, the significance, if any,
and purpose of
her individual.
Inside, the beauty of everything made her ache.
She longed for clarity, but remembering made
her queezy.
She didn't want to remember really because it hurt too much.
She had a forboding of something
dreadful, something
unspeakable. Now, alone in the jungle, the spirits
of Ancestors and Guardians made it
impossible for her
to ignore the pertinent questions that a soul must
ask in order to define itself...to it's
self.
For now it was fun to just go to a certain point,
and not beyond. It was an interesting diversion.
But to probe too deeply, to uncover
what Time has buried deep in the dna...to face
one's self and acknowledge
that the Karma is one's own creation...
To accept the Truth and take responsibility for our creations...
and
evolve finally...into the blessed person we'd really like to be...
is jumping off into the unknown, unfabricated
future, and
it scaird her. She wanted to take the leap...but not yet.
But the jungle spirits knew she
was ready, and cast their nets
before her. She was still allowing the images to come and go,
but didn't
understand the storyline behind them as they
were not cohesive, but irrational. As she was perplexing thus,
she heard a moaning sound. It recalled ancient memories.
"Maaaowwwwmiii" it called through the dank
darkness of her
forgotten mind. Was she dreaming or was someone calling her?
The beast raised it's
head from the water startling her with it's one
big eye in the center of it's prominent mis-shapen head.
"Maaaaoowwwwwwmmmiii" it called, reaching it's clawed
hand towards her, pleading. Then, someone
was coming....
A beautiful irridescently luminous and voluptuous female insect
with four arms and wings folded by
her side, was leading a baby buffalo
through the tangled maze of vines, guava, and mango trees
to the stream.
When they arrived, the birds stopped singing.
Lemurlalo, the insect queen, barely had time to
step aside,
as the cyclops grabbed the little buffalo and tore it limb from limb,
devouring it rabidly.
Queen
Muri looked very much like the Empress.
Now she was running away with tears streaming down her face.
The creature
in the pool below the waterfall finished feasting.
Harmony saw there was blood in the water.
"Oh
my God!" she exclaimed, bringing her hand to her mouth in horror.
She felt a deep void, and coming through it, an
awful painful knowing.
She rubbed her palms across her heart and stomach to quell the nausea.
It didn't ease
the pain. Harmony knew...she...was that woman.
But how could that be? The woman was a shining being!
She
saw what the woman had done ...and remembered it now.
She didn't want to remember this though.
Not this... ever...never! Inside she cried,
This was the Truth she denied to herself for so long.
Facing
her real self was frightening. She wanted to be beautiful
and nice. Where did her understanding of Being
warp.
How could she ever have been that person....?
All around her the earth was adorned as
if for a great
celebration, but Harmony was filled with an uneasiness,
a forboding,.....even in all the flowering
of Nature.
She felt the presence of the Spirits stroking her head
and arms and legs. Their presence gave her
courage.
Soon....she'd allow it to surface.
Something very ancient within her was emerging.
The forest
distilled it from her subconscious depths.
It was vibrating in the air. This waterfall and the pool,
were
so connected to her. She had longed her whole
life to reunite with it. It too had been a dream.
Now
it was true. Would the rest unfold also in time?
This little waterfall, the one at the top where no one ever
goes,
was her old companion. But from where and when?
She was feeling the way within as if in the dark.
She tried to tell herself that she was just being overly
dramatic...but she did see x-ray like pictures in her mind
of other places
and other times....all leading to this extraordinary life as Harmony.
It all fit perfectly as it
superimposed Itself upon the landscape
as if it were a mirage or hologram.
It was as if the images came in on the
little breeze
that made all the leaves of the forest dance.
Someone was watching and tending us always.
She felt so perfectly comfortable in Nature, as if
the pages of the Book of Time were openly displaying for her.
She felt as if she had lived in this little valley for a long time,
a long long time ago. What seemed to be the
ruins of temples
and abandoned kalo patches reminded her of something
somewhere that she dared not admit to herself.
If she knew, would she go mad, or would she finally
become a normal and sane person?
Could she throw down
all her crutches and walk... ever?
Or would she always be a neurotic and undeveloped emotional wreck!?
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